Staring into the blank page waiting for something to emerge from brain to hands to processor can be like an interminable labor. The spasms are frequent. I want to give birth to my thoughts and words, but somehow, they have been sitting since my last round of trying this in early 2017.
Of course, part of the problem is that 2017, which I had hoped would be peaceful and full of promise was anything but. So many personal issues raised heads for those 12 months. . . and they aren’t done yet. Those who know me well, know. And I am disinclined to put it out here, however. What my psyche doesn’t need or want is sympathy or suggestions on what to do. Everything will work itself out in time. What my psyche does need is positive vibes from all quarters! Calmness, which I am letting wash through me, and quiet solitude every day is helping. Strength, that would help too. As always, my job is my real strength and place of quiet. I even got my own private office this year! It is heavenly. I painted it Iris purple. So tranquil. Students like it too as they can now come in and have a chat.
I also took a much needed soul trip to Somerset for a week in January this year. I was expecting very cold weather, but was delighted with most days in the 40s-50s, even if a bit blustery. A bit like Pooh-bear, I huddled into dear Jude’s home for the week. She treated me so well, let me cry out my depression and anxiety and made tea and meals for me that were perfect. She even gave up her bed!
I got to see and dote on the lovely Moon doggie, Zanaka, and just generally make myself to home. I went with Jude and Zsa one morning to the Huntspill River where they walk every single day, rain or shine or snow or fog. Also met a couple of her dog-loving friends and had some very good conversation. Always welcome.